Mostly we think of love as a feeling probably because of its depiction in books & movies; love is an emotion that washes over us when we meet that right person. At first we’re swept up with everything they do and can’t wait to see them again. All emotions are cranked up to the max and the intense brightness lights up everything. We’re happy. We’re in love.
As time slowly passes the feeling starts to fade — it’s still very bright but the madness of it all has tapered and leveled out. You aren’t always consumed by what your love is doing or thinking. You’re off that initial high.
As more time passes real world problems begin to surface. What drew you to that person is now beginning to get on your nerves: disagreements, or annoying habits. The rose colored glasses are off and what you see before you is a real person, the fantasy you initially fell in love with is fading away and replaced with a real person.
Love isn’t just a feeling that washes over you and lasts a lifetime. It is a gift that requires attention, work and dedication. What you put into that love is what you will receive back. Why not change how you think of love today? Make the change — love is more than just a word — love is a verb.
I think that I can't add anything more, as Covey made it clear, that we always oversee the "verb" side of things, and we just see the noun, the result of the verbs, as if we expecting the result without trying the verb to get it.
I think that I can't add anything more, as Covey made it clear, that we always oversee the "verb" side of things, and we just see the noun, the result of the verbs, as if we expecting the result without trying the verb to get it.
You probably don't always feel loving feelings for your mother or father or siblings or best friend, but you know you love them. The feeling of love is a fruit of love, the verb. It is by our actions that we love and not by our words. Very interesting observation as it implies that we do not act because of our feelings towards a person, but rather our actions induce our feelings.
Excerpt about love from Steven Covey's book "The Seven Habits of Higly Effective People".
At one seminar where I was speaking on the concept of proactivity, a man came up and said, “Stephan, I like what you’re saying. But every situation is so different. Look at my marriage. I’m really worried. My wife and I just don’t have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don’t love her anymore and she doesn't love me. What can I do?”
“The feeling isn’t there anymore?”, I asked.
“That’s right,”, he reaffirmed, “And we have three children we’re really concerned about. What do you suggest?”
“Love her,” I replied.
“I told you, the feeling isn’t there anymore.”
“Love her”
“You don’t understand. The feeling of love just isn’t there”
“Then love her. If the feeling isn’t there, that’s a good reason to love her.”
“But how do you love when you don’t love?”
“My friend, love is a verb. Love- the feeling – is a fruit of love, the verb. So love here. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”
In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They’re driven by feeling. Hollywood has generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that we are a product of our feelings. But the Hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings control over actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibilities and empowered them to do so.
Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the give of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifices for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured.
Source - Internet
At one seminar where I was speaking on the concept of proactivity, a man came up and said, “Stephan, I like what you’re saying. But every situation is so different. Look at my marriage. I’m really worried. My wife and I just don’t have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don’t love her anymore and she doesn't love me. What can I do?”
“The feeling isn’t there anymore?”, I asked.
“That’s right,”, he reaffirmed, “And we have three children we’re really concerned about. What do you suggest?”
“Love her,” I replied.
“I told you, the feeling isn’t there anymore.”
“Love her”
“You don’t understand. The feeling of love just isn’t there”
“Then love her. If the feeling isn’t there, that’s a good reason to love her.”
“But how do you love when you don’t love?”
“My friend, love is a verb. Love- the feeling – is a fruit of love, the verb. So love here. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”
In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They’re driven by feeling. Hollywood has generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that we are a product of our feelings. But the Hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings control over actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibilities and empowered them to do so.
Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the give of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifices for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured.
Source - Internet
