Kindness: The language of love

A man spoke with the Lord about Heaven and Hell. "I will show you Hell," said the Lord. And they went into a room which had a large pot of stew in the middle. The smell was delicious and around the pot sat people who were famished and desperate. All were holding spoons with very long handles which reached to the pot, but because the handles of the spoons were longer than their arms, it was impossible to get the stew into their mouths. Their suffering was terrible.

"Now I will show you Heaven," said the Lord, and they went into an identical room. There was a similar pot of stew and the people had the same identical spoons, but they were well nourished, talking and happy.

At first the man did not understand. "It is simple," said the Lord. "You see, they have learned to feed each other."

Kindness has blissful effect. It create huge amounts of happiness in the lives of ours & others. There's no need to be stingy in dispensing love & kindness, for unlike money, we wont run out of it by giving it away. Just the opposite, the more we give away, the more we'll receive.

What acts of kindness should we perform? That's easy, we should do what we wish to receive from others.

Don't be discouraged if the recipient of your kindness, doesn't respond. Carry on your every act in kindness, with no expectation. Safe in the knowledge that one day, someone somewhere might do the same for you.

Do all the good you can
By all the means you can
In all the ways you can
In all the places you can
At all the times you can
To all the people you can
As long as ever you can!

Is it worth doing?

Horror gripped the heart of the World War I soldier as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. Caught in a trench with continuous gunfire whizzing over his head, the soldier asked his lieutenant if he might go out into the “no man’s land” between the trenches to bring his fallen comrade back.

“You can go,” said the lieutenant, “but I don’t think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your life away.” The lieutenant’s advice didn’t matter, and the soldier went anyway. Miraculously he managed to reach his friend, hoist him onto his shoulder and bring him back to their company’s trench. As the two of them tumbled in together to the bottom of the trench, the officer checked the wounded soldier, and then looked kindly at his friend.

“I told you it wouldn’t be worth it,” he said. “Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded.”

“It was worth it, though, sir,” said the soldier.

“What do you mean; worth it?” responded the Lieutenant. “Your friend is dead.”

“Yes, Sir” the private answered. “But it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive and I had the satisfaction of hearing him saying, “Jim…, I knew you’d come.”

Many times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or not, really depends on how you look at it. When in conflict of choices, voices, emotions & opinions about what to do, always do what your heart guides you to do.

Let go

A wise man once sat in the audience and cracked a joke, all of them laughed like crazy. After a moment he cracked the same joke again & a little less people laughed this time. He cracked the same one again and again, in the end when no one laughed,  he smiled and said "when you can't laugh on the same joke again and again then why do you keep crying over the same thing over and over again".

Many of us hang on to things that at some point have hurt us, angered us, made us feel sad, or depressed us. If we choose to hang on to them, we will never move forward. We must learn to let past be past, learn from it, take an experience and move ahead.

The less you carry, the farther you go. So let go!

Learn to dance in rain

In the 1920's, Ernest Hemingway learned something about 'bad luck' and getting kicked by life. He was struggling to make his mark as an author when disaster struck. He lost a suitcase containing all his manuscripts - many stories he'd polished to jewel-like perfection - which he'd been planning to publish in a book.
According to Denis Waitley in his book Empires of the Mind published William Morrow and Company, Inc. in 1995, the devastated Hemingway couldn't conceive of redoing his work. All those months of arduous writing were simply wasted.
He lamented his predicament to friend and poet Ezra Pound who called it a stroke of good fortune! Pound assured Hemingway that when he would rewrite the stories, he would forget the weak parts; only the best material would reappear.
He encouraged the aspiring author to start over with a sense of optimism and confidence. Hemingway did rewrite the stories and eventually became a major figure in American literature.

When adversities hit us like storm in life don't wait for it to pass, learn to dance in rain.It's not the adversity, but how we react to it that determines the course of our lives.

Any day I'm vertical is a good day
...that's what I always say.
If you ask me, "How are you?"
I'll answer, "GREAT!"
because in saying so,
I make it so.
When Life gives me dark clouds and rain,
I appreciate the moisture
that brings a soft curl to my hair.

When Life gives me sunshine,
I gratefully turn my face up
to feel its warmth on my cheeks.

When Life brings fog,
I hug my sweater around me
and give thanks for the cool shroud of mystery
that makes the familiar seem different and intriguing.

When Life brings snow,
I dash outside to catch the first flakes on my tongue,
relishing the icy miracle that is a snowflake.

Life's events and experiences
are like the weather -
they come and go,
no matter what my preference.

So, what the heck?!
I might as well decide to enjoy them.
For indeed,
there IS a time for every purpose
under Heaven.
And each season brings its own unique blessings.
(Poem - Weather Report by B J Gallagher)

Never lose the sight of BIG picture

According to an old parable, three men were working hard cutting stone from large blocks of granite.

When asked what they were doing, the first fellow said, 'I'm making bricks.'
The second said, 'I'm creating a foundation for a large building.'
The third person answered, 'I'm building a cathedral.'

They are doing the exact same job, and all three responses were accurate, but they reveal the huge difference attitude makes. It's the difference between tolerating or enjoying one's life, between thinking small or large.

Mindset matters!

Just like the stone cutters, most of us have a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how we experience and interpret situations. It's pretty clear that the fellow who saw himself playing an important role in building a grand cathedral is much more likely to feel good about his work and his life than the guy who defines his job as making bricks.

What do you do?

Don't minimize yourself by just describing the tasks you perform; think big.
There is no job that can't be meaningful and gratifying, if not because of how it fits into a larger picture of producing human happiness, then at least in terms of the gratification you can feel simply from a job well done.

Never lose the sight of big picture you are playing part of, no act is small in play of LIFE. Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us. So always keep it big and positive.

Power of Choice

We all have the power of choice. Choices are catalyst for change. It can take us to heroic heights or bring us down in despair. It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

There is an old tale about conflict of choices within ourselves-

An old Cherokee Indian was speaking to his grandson, “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good — he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a long minute, and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed the most.”

We always have the choice between good and evil, and it REALLY matters which one we choose.

Begin with the End in Mind

Hi There,

Hope all's well with you. Waiting for another Funda?

Second habit from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People book by Stephen Covey says "Begin with the End in mind". It requires a very thoughtful and powerful process to ingrain it as habit.  What we do and say, has an effect on memories we make and also what others make about us. How will these memories be read in our eulogy? If we keep that perspective, we must remember today might be the only chance to make a choice to what kind legacy we leave; cause tomorrow never comes.

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About a hundred years ago, a man looked at the morning newspaper and to his surprise and horror, read his name in the obituary column. The newspapers had reported the death of the wrong person by mistake. His first response was shock. Am I here or there? When he regained his composure, his second thought was to find out what people had said about him. The obituary read, "Dynamite King Dies." And also "He was the merchant of death." This man was the inventor of dynamite and when he read the words "merchant of death," he asked himself a question, "Is this how I am going to be remembered?" He got in touch with his feelings and decided that this was not the way he wanted to be remembered. From that day on, he started working toward peace. His name was Alfred Nobel and he is remembered today by the great Nobel Prize.

Just as Alfred Nobel got in touch with his feelings and redefined his values, we should step back and do the same.

What is your legacy?

How would you like to be remembered?

Will you be spoken well of?

Will you be remembered with love and respect?

Will you be missed?
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Alfred Nobel discovered a second chance to live a more meaningful life by living with the end in mind. While our choices might not be as drastic, maybe we can too.

Have a nice weekend!

Till I write again....
Shalini

The Gift of Insults

Hi There,

Hope all's well with you all. Looking forward to some R&R over the long weekend :-)

Dale Carneige said "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.", which choice do we make? Trying hard to not be a fool or be fooled!!!

Have a nice weekend....

Cheers,
Shalini
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Near Tokyo lived a great Samurai, now old, who decided to teach Zen Buddhism to young people.

One afternoon, a warrior – known for his complete lack of scruples – arrived there. The young and impatient warrior had never lost a fight. Hearing of the Samurai’s reputation, he had come to defeat him, and increase his fame.

All the students were against the idea, but the old man accepted the challenge.

All gathered on the town square, and the young man started insulting the old master. He threw a few rocks in his direction, spat in his face, shouted every insult under the sun – he even insulted his ancestors.

For hours, he did everything to provoke him, but the old man remained impassive. At the end of the afternoon, by now feeling exhausted and humiliated, the impetuous warrior left.

Disappointed by the fact that the master had received so many insults and provocations, the students asked:
How could you bear such indignity? Why didn’t you use your sword, even knowing you might lose the fight, instead of displaying your cowardice in front of us all?

If someone comes to you with a gift, and you do not accept it, who does the gift belong to? – asked the Samurai.
He who tried to deliver it – replied one of his disciples.

The same goes for envy, anger and insults – said the master.
“When they are not accepted, they continue to belong to the one who carried them.”

- Paulo Coelho blog

Don't Take it Personal!

Hi There,

As they say life is 10% what we make it and 90% how we take it. So however you take it, don't take it personal :-)

Have a nice weekend!!!

Cheers,
Shalini
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If others are upset with you or say something bad, it's their problem, not yours. Do not allow the thoughts, and perceptions of others to determine your self-worth and value. Don Miguel Ruiz says that as we grow up, we are taught to believe all sorts of things as true. These ideas involve how we see ourselves and our world. When we accept these concepts and ideas as true, we are in essence agreeing with them. He calls this process "Domestication".

He says, "As children, we didn't have the opportunity to choose our beliefs, but we agreed with the information that was passed to us. . . As soon as we agree, we believe it, and this is called faith. To have faith is to believe unconditionally." The problem is that so often the beliefs we agree to are lies – lies that say that we are unworthy, ugly, or evil. He says that "If we can see it is our agreements that rule our own life, and we don't like the dream of our life, we need to change the agreements."

In order to facilitate this process, his book outlines four new agreements that we can make with ourselves. The second of these agreements is "Don't take anything personally." The author talks about this agreement by saying, "Nothing other people do is because of you. . . All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. . . Others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system, so nothing they think about me is really about me, but it is about them."

Choose to make the decision to not take what others said and did personally. It will give such a sense of freedom and power. By not allowing yourself to take the actions of others too personally, you are taking control of your life. Honestly look at what is said and done, and if you see that there is no validity to it, disregard it. You know yourself better than anyone else, so you know if something is true, real, and valid. Don't promote a lie by giving it any validity through agreeing to the pain.

Even if the intent was cruel, make sure to examine it to see if there's any truth in it. Then you can decide what needs to be changed and be grateful for the lesson. If there's no truth to it, realize that it will affect you only if you give it permission to do so. Don't let their action define you. Only you can define you.

- from Strategies4Happiness

Are you Gossiping?

A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a friend. Within a few days the whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended. Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue. She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.
"Go to the marketplace," he said, "and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road."
Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told.
The next day the wise man said, "Now go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me."
The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay, the wind had blown the feathers all away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three in her hand.
"You see," said the old sage, "it's easy to drop them, but it's impossible to get them back. So it is with gossip. It doesn't take much to spread a lie, but once you do, you can never completely undo the wrong."

Lesson:
Well we can always participate in loose talks to curb our boredom. But when it comes to your friends its not worth it.

Source: Internet

Memories and Salt

Hi Friends,

Remember to not get lost in memories from past that we forget to enjoy present moments which will make memories for us to look back in future. Always live in present and there will be memories to cherish forever.

Have a nice weekend!
Shalini
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I arrive in Madrid at eight o’clock in the morning. I will only be here a few hours, so it’s not worth phoning friends and arranging to see them. I decide to go for a walk alone in my favourite places, and I end up sitting smoking a cigarette on a bench in the Retiro Park.
‘You look miles away,’ says an old man, joining me on the bench.

‘Oh, I’m here,’ I say, ‘but I’m sitting on this same bench with a painter friend of mine, Anastasio Ranchal, 24 years ago in 1986. We are both watching my wife, Christina, who has had a bit too much to drink and is trying to dance the flamenco.’

‘Enjoy your memories,’ says the old man.

‘But don’t forget that memory is like salt: the right amount brings out the flavour in food, too much ruins it. If you live in the past all the time, you’ll find yourself with no present to remember.’

- From Paulo Coelho blog

The Story of Human Conflict

Once upon a time, about five hundred years from now, there was an astronaut named Cain.  Actually, Cain's job was more like that of the truck drivers of your day.  He flew cargo ships, and every now and then he had to make a long haul.  This was one of those times.  He was scheduled to pilot a ship, loaded with supplies, to a distant space station, and it would take about one year to get there.
Normally, when Cain flew, he was alone.  These modern ships were completely computerized.  There was very little that was required of him, other than a few minor adjustments now and again.
This journey was going to be different.  There was another astronaut named Abel that would be coming along for the ride.  It was some new policy that the company was trying. Cain liked the idea.   Anything would be better than being all alone for such a long period of time.  It would be nice to have someone to talk to.
They had never met, so Cain and Abel planned to have dinner together the day before lift-off.  It did not work out that way.  Someone had miss-calculated the required lift-off time, and it turned out that Cain had only a two hour notice to board the ship and be under way.
There was so much to do on such short notice.  Cain did not even think about Abel until the earth's atmosphere was far behind.
"Abel calling Cain...Abel calling Cain; did you make it on board, good buddy?"  Cain was surprised to hear the sound of Abel's voice coming over the intercom.
"Yeah, I'm here.  Where the heck are you?"  Cain responded.  
"I'm here," said Abel.  "I'm just the other side of this bulkhead.  It's company policy.  Just in case we don't get along, they built this ship so that we can't hurt each other. We can talk over the intercom, but we won't be able to see each other, or shake hands, until we get to our destination."So the long journey began.  It worked out really good for the first three or four months.  Cain and Abel enjoyed each others company.  They were able to play various games on the ships' computer, and soon they were sharing very personal thoughts.  Cain was pleased.  It seemed that he and Abel had a lot in common.  It was as if they were brothers.  They held similar views about most things, and they had the same sense of humor.
Things started to fall apart as they went into the fifth and sixth months.  They started to have these little fights every now and again.  Cain decided that Abel could not be trusted. He found that Abel was becoming more competitive, judgmental, and intolerant.  It seemed he was always judging and attacking him in one way or another.
The fights got worse.  They started calling each other names.  Sometimes they would go for days, and even weeks, without speaking.  Finally, the dares, name calling and insults became unbearable.  They spoke not a word to each other during the final month of the journey.  Cain vowed that he would "kill the s.o.b.."  
When the ship reached its' destination, Cain was quick to disembark.  He wanted to be sure to stay one step ahead of Abel.  His intention was to find a weapon, so that he would be prepared when he and Abel finally met.  A three foot section of pipe was all that he could come up with, but he figured it would do the trick when properly applied to Abel's head.
The people who greeted him at the space station could tell that there was something wrong.  Cain paid little attention to them.  He was ready now.  He waited, with a single purpose, for Abel to emerge from the other side of the ship.  Cain was so filled with rage, he wanted only a brief window of opportunity to crush Abel's skull.
He waited, and he waited, and he waited some more.  Finally, he started asking questions.
"What happened to the other guy that was on that ship with me?"  Cain directed his question to the person who seemed to be in charge.
That is when Cain found out that he had spent the past year talking to himself.  There was never anyone else on the ship with him.  He was talking to a computer that had been programmed with his own personality.  The company could not afford to pay a second astronaut, but they knew how lonely a long journey like this could be, and they wanted to do something to help keep these guys from going out of their minds.  Cain’s journey was an initial experiment to see how it would work.      

I have told you this story to give you a clear picture of your situation as a human being.  There was never anyone else on this journey with you.  The apparent others are your own thought form projections.  You are the dreamer of the people in your dream.  They do and say only what you tell them to do and say.  You wrote the script.  You do this but to yourself. You feel so guilty and angry about the idea of separation that you have vowed that everyone must suffer and die. Do not underestimate your murderous intent. You are attacking yourself.

- by Benny Silverman

Are Happy People Dumb?

Excerpt from Harvard Business Review blog - http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2011/03/are_happy_people_dumb.html
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"We often erroneously think that the "deep" people are the ones who brood. The darker the movie, the less redemptive the ending, the more artistic people think it is. The more messed up the painter or the musician's life, the more creative we assume they were. But this is not true. It requires an incredible amount of depth to be positive and hopeful in the midst of adversity. In truth, negative emotions stem from the most primitive part of the brain that responds to fear and threat. Seeing the negative is easy; formulating a cognitive strategy about how to positively respond to challenge requires much higher-order functioning in the brain.

Researchers like Barbara Fredrickson have found that when we are negative, our brains resort to "fight or flight" thinking about the world. But when we are positive, our brains "broaden and build" allowing us to create new patterns of success and widen the amount of possibilities our brains can process.
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So don't worry gals, be happy and its definitely smart to be happy not dumb :D

Have a nice weekend!!!

Cheers,
Shalini

Calming the Muddy Waters

A wise man was walking from one town to another with a few of his followers and they happened to pass a lake. So they stopped there to rest for a while and the wise man said to one of his followers . . . 'I am very thirsty, could you please go and get me some water from the lake.'

As requested the follower walked to the lake and when he reached it, he noticed that some people were washing clothes in the water, and right at that moment, several bullock carts started crossing the lake. As a result of this, the water became very muddy and murky.

The follower thought, how can I give this muddy water to my leader to drink? So he went back and told the wise man that the water in the lake was very muddy and not fit to drink.

After they had rested for about half an hour, the wise man again asked the same follower to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. As requested, the follower went to the edge of the lake and this time he found that all the mud had settled to the bottom and the water above it was crystal clear and looked fit to drink. So he filled his water bottle and took it to the wise man.

The wise man took the water bottle and drank, then looked up at the follower and said . . .  'see what you did to make the water clean and fit to drink, you let it be for a while and the

mud settled down on its own so that you could then get some clear drinking water for me.'

'Your mind can also be like that lake when it is disturbed about something, but if you just let it be and give it a little time, it will most likely settle down on its own without you having to put in any effort at all to calm it.'

-Author Unknown

Its not what you say, its how you say it

Everything has two sides – the bright and the dark or, as I would like to put it, the bright and the less bright.

A king had a dream in which he found that all his teeth had fallen out. He wanted an interpretation of the dream. A dream interpreter was sent for. He consulted the ancient books and said to the king – Sir, this is a most unfortunate dream. It signifies that all your family will die during your lifetime.

The king was disappointed and ordered the dream interpreter to put in prison.

Another dream interpreter was called and he too consulted the ancient books and said – ‘O king, this is a most fortunate dream. It signifies that you will survive all your dear ones. Long live the king!’

The king felt happy and rewarded the dream interpreter.

Both the statements have the same meaning. But it is the way you put it or look at it that matters. So always look at the bright side of things.
- Dada J P Vaswani

Source: Internet

HAPPY NEW YEAR

My Dear Lovely Ladies......I am back from wonderful trip of India :) firstly My Wishes for You...

Hours of happy times with friends and family
Abundant time for relaxation
Prosperity
Plenty of love when you need it the most
Youthful excitement at lifes simple pleasures

Nights of restful slumber
Everything you need
Wishing you love and light

Years and years of good health
Enjoyment and mirth
Angels to watch over you
Rembrances of a happy years!

Secondly, a beautiful movie for women, celebration of the circle of strength women share - and it speaks to the undeniable fact that there is comfort knowing you're not alone. Woman to woman...Heart to heart <3 <3
http://itsnotjustmemovie.com/

Yours in friendship,
Shalini